Cover Letter

By Molly

Please, let me work for you. I am begging you; on my hands and knees, the way you like it – it is what you like, is it not? Like an animal in grateful servitude, thankful and forever indebted to your being so kind as to put food on my table, clothes on my back, blankets on my bed. If this is not what you like, if I have been mistaken, please, correct me, punish me for my ignorance and mold me as you so wish. Dress me in the clothes that you find appropriate for me. Likewise, style my hair so that it fits your needs and desires. Force me to wake however early you see fit, for my body’s clock is far inferior to the preternatural green glow of the disjointed digital numbers floating above the table, which you have provided for me.

Please, please let me work for you. I am loyal, obedient, intelligent – or at least intelligent enough to excel at the tasks you ask of me, but not enough to see through your scheme. I am a hard worker and a fast learner. I would be more than willing to take on extra challenges and responsibilities if you so wish. Let me toil at one of your computer screens for hours and hours, bathing in the bluish light slowly washing away my soul, gasping in desperation as it swirls down the drain of corporate America while you voyeuristically watch through your glass door. I merely want to serve you, to make you profits. If you are happy, I am happy.

Please – don’t force me to leech off of the generous social services that you provide. You have given me so much already, done so much for me that I feel so awful not being able to pay you back in taxes. My public education for example, is something for which I only have you to thank and without which I would not have such a deep understanding of the importance of obedience and competition in being a successful American worker. Your ethnocentric fairy tale history lessons have left me with a national pride and patriotism that will survive countless attacks on the righteousness of the United States of America.

Please, let me repay you, let me work for you. If you should see any shreds of free thought and autonomy that happen to have slipped through the cracks they are yours to destroy. If there are sparks of humanity and rebellion remaining that scare you, you hold the extinguisher in your hand. I want to be your zombie. Only please, hire me.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you at your convenience.


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